By Zaldy Dandan
Variety Editor

IT’S not that I actually discovered a new law of physics, but the realization — an epiphany, really — I just had these past few days was as startling as getting beaned by an apple. To shift (and mix) metaphors, it was like the disclosure of that one move buried so deep in the thickets of a complex position in a chess game as to be completely unexpected. For non-chess players, it’s like that moment when you finally see the hidden image in one of those 3D “Magic Eye” pictures.
I am referring to the immigration federalization measure which has yet to be drafted. The new legislation, we were told, will be based on the Murkowski bill — S. 507 whose identical version, S. 1052, was passed by the U.S. Senate in Feb. 2000.
The bill, as everyone knows, had a one-time grandfather provision for qualified alien workers who would have been granted an immigrant visa or permanent residency provided they met several conditions. (See the Jan. 26 Variations.) As I’ve said, even if the bill became law, there would have been no mass distribution of green cards. It wasn’t a magic wand that would have turned alien workers into instant U.S. citizens.
That bill was introduced after certain CNMI employers testified before Congress that they really really loved their valuable — and cheap — alien workers who had been in the Northern Marianas since time immemorial, etc. Well then, some U.S. lawmakers said, let’s allow these workers to apply for green cards.
What the U.S. lawmakers don’t know is that most CNMI employers “love” their alien workers only as long as these employees remain bound by a one-year contract — i.e., as long as they are not free agents in a free labor market.
In one of those b.s.-free statements that a politician makes once in a blue moon, Governor Fitial told our reporter last week that the only reason alien workers are here is “because we [need their] skills, but when we have our own qualified labor force, then they have to leave.” In other words, alien workers can stay here forever so what else do we ingrates want?
The governor’s position is, to quote Tom Cruise, crystal. Yes to a federalized wage rate, but gradually and selectively applied through a wage board — which will basically mean no wage hike at all for a very long time; and yes to federal border control — which can mean anything but the granting of permanent residency even to long-term alien workers.
The U.S. Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee, to be sure, is dead serious about the federalization of local immigration. The Democratic chairman, who co-sponsored Murkowski’s bill, has ensured a bipartisan approach by getting the Republican senators onboard. And to secure White House support, the panel has asked Interior to draft the measure. With the Democrats also in control in the U.S. House, it does seem that this bill, once drafted and introduced, would be a slam-dunk.
But it is also clear that the bill’s proponents are more than eager to accommodate the concerns of the CNMI leadership which has all but agreed to federalization — except for the execrable, for them, green card provision.
Here’s what I realized recently. That provision was never writ in stone. It could be taken out of the new measure. Congress can federalize local immigration without giving any alien worker permanent residency. The new bill, like the Murkowski measure, can simply provide for a 10-year phase-in of federal immigration law. This will allow the CNMI to continue hiring its alien workers, but under federal rules, which include a stay-limit provision — the workers will have to “exit” every three or so years.
As the French would say, “voila!,” which is pronounced “wala!” which, back home, means “nating!,” as in “nating grinkard, booset.”

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