By Samuel Gugliotta
For Variety

THOMAS Merton, in his book, “No Man Is an Island,” entitles his chapter on love, “Love can be kept only by being given away.”
In this Catholic conception of love, the essence of love is unselfishness. Sharing, according to Merton, is the “law of our own being,” just as “infinite sharing is the “Law of God’s inner life.” So that it is loving others “that we best love ourselves.”
Such love must be based on truth, since in loving another, we must will what is really good for him or her. But what is truth? Merton answers, “Truth, in things, is their reality. In our minds it is conformity of our knowledge with the things known. In words, it is the conformity of our words to what we think. In our conduct, it is conformity of our acts to what we are supposed to be.”
It is possible to seem to love without caring for the truth, to love blindly, simply for the sake of loving, without thought of its effects or consequences. This Merton calls another form of selfishness. Love confined to the level of bodily passion, that does not transcend the level of desire is thus considered as selfishness and not love.
Merton’s words are simple, elegant, and contain much wisdom. At the same time it must be realized that the ground he stands on entails a deep belief in God, and the “mysterious and infinitely selfless love” God has for each of us. Moreover, this deep conception of God assumes that each of us has a special vocation, what we are supposed to be. One of the great challenges in life is precisely to find out who we really are in regard to the designs of God’s kingdom.
Yet even for those who doubt or disbelieve the belief in God, there is still much wisdom to be gained from religion. The great advent of Christianity arose out of an amalgam of Neoplatonic philosophy and Hebraism, and the result was a poetic rendering of much ancient, timeless wisdom.
Thus, when Merton makes the distinction between selfish and unselfish love, what he says holds of anyone at anytime. Consider his words:
“A selfish love seldom respects the rights of the beloved to be an autonomous person. Far from respecting the true being of another and granting his personality room to grow and expand, this love seeks to keep him in subjection to ourselves...In loving them we seek to make pets out of them, to keep them tame. Such love fears nothing more than the escape of the beloved.”
However, in the context of Merton’s Catholicism, his beliefs form a powerful counterpoint to the more fashionable types of existentialism that prevail in modern times. In his chapter entitled, “Being and Doing” he argues for the necessity of our “hidden and invisible” soul, as well as the unseen God of love. According to Merton, people who do not believe in God do not really believe they exist, and the loss of faith entails the loss of all sense of reality.
In the context of the loss of faith, the emphasis is put on “being” rather than “doing.” It is like a person who constantly looks in the mirror to verify his existence. Judgment is based on outward actions only. But we all know we are more than what we do. In this sense we must be in contact with our interior selves. It is there we find peace and happiness and wisdom to act wisely. God, according to Merton is an infinite goodness that dwells within us.
Perhaps like the love that may be kept only by giving it away, we may find the one thing necessary for our being and existence only by loosing everything else. In Merton’s words, “Happiness consists in finding what the “one thing necessary” may be, in our lives, and in gladly relinquishing all the rest. For then, by a divine paradox, we find that everything else is given us together with the one thing we need.”
In this particular book, “No Man Is An Island,” Merton is not concerned with philosophical arguments for or against the existence of God or the particularities of the Catholic faith. I find this unfortunate for we live in a time where many eloquent works by scientists or atheistic existentialists cast deep doubt on the concept of God. But for those who still maintain their Catholic faith, the book is invaluable in showing how that faith provides for the salvation of the individual in our modern times.
How many of us believe that there is something we are “supposed to be?” I end this brief review with Merton’s words: “Each one of us has some kind of vocation. We are all called by God to share in His life and in His Kingdom. Each one of us is called to a special place in the Kingdom. If we find that place we will be happy...For each one us, there is only one thing necessary: to fulfill our own destiny, according to God’s will, to be what God wants us to be.”
Puzzles
(from Scientific American)
1. A chair priced at $350 was reduced by 20 percent. Then it was reduced by $80. Since it still did not sell it reduced by another 80 percent. So what was the final price of the chair.
2. Fill in the missing letter to complete the word below:
I _ _ I _ I _ I _ I _ Y
Answers to last week’s puzzles
1. Great grandmother
2. Father
3. Yourself