By Zaldy Dandan
Variety Editor

ONE of the letters we published recently noted that abolishing municipal councils will not solve the government’s financial problems, and the letter writer is right. The $1 million that will no longer be wasted on the councils will simply be wasted elsewhere. The same goes for the proposals to reduce legislative seats and have part-time lawmakers.
The only reason these entities are such obvious targets for real cost-cutting measures is because they’re asking for it. They’re too visible, too wasteful, too useless.
The commonwealth’s problem has been painfully clear all these years — the CNMI can no longer afford a government that is too big because it has too many offices and agencies that duplicate each other’s functions but continue to exist as dumping grounds for political hires whom no sane person in the private sector would hire for the rates that these government officials and employees are getting from taxpayers.
The government, in short, is broke yet it continues to spend money like it’s not. If the government were a household or a business entity faced with the same problem, it would have long ago told the truth to its family members or employees and quickly cut expenses while trying to earn or save more money. But because the government spends money that it never earned and merely collected from faceless taxpayers, all its branches, agencies, officials and personnel are now claiming to be “essential” and should be exempted from budget cuts. These are the same people who tell their kids that they will only get a certain amount as an allowance because that’s all mom and dad can afford, and that mom and dad too are also cutting down on their spending. But this common sense financial rule has never been applied to the government. Which is why it’s bankrupt.
Imposing new fees and raising taxes is not even an option, and is the equivalent of kicking someone with a toothache in the teeth.
It is a race to the bottom out there. Businesses are trying to reduce their prices and costs while imposing paycuts and shorter workhours even as consumers do their shopping at weekend garage sales, buy produce from illegal roadside vendors and order food from those who deliver bentos that can be paid for on paydays. How can stores and restaurants compete with that?
The CNMI minimum wage, moreover, is way less now than $3.05 and I’m not even factoring in the rise in the cost of living — which includes gasoline prices and CUC rates — since the wage rate was last set by garment lawmakers in 1996.
But raising the minimum wage in this economy is like milking a bull. Or expecting a rooster to lay eggs. Businesses can’t even pay $3.05 — how do we expect them to pay more?
No. You don’t tell someone who is obese to eat more empanada and fried chicken. You tell him to diet and exercise, and that’s what this bloated government has to do.
We all know this, yet there are still officials and individuals talking about “empowering” municipal councils and increasing the number of their members because that’s how “state-” and “local-level” governments work in the U.S.
It’s as if the CNMI were a wood and tin house and one member of the household, who couldn’t even afford to pay the CUC bill, was whining about the lack of a whirlpool bathtub.

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Here’s a response I received regarding last week’s Variations:
Hey Zaldy,
Thank you for your editorial about Lala Land.
However, I don’t think you understand that this is what the people of the Northern Marianas have always wanted, but never realized that they would be the losers….
The economy was never an issue with the locals as we always got checks from the government, and why should locals give a damn about the economy? We don’t own the businesses; those belong to Joeten, the Villagamezes, those rich families. The hotels are all owned by the Japanese and all those outsiders. The economy is just like a piece of toilet paper for wiping our ends. It doesn’t relate to us.
If the economy was really an issue then we would have a difficult time relating as to why former Governor Tenorio could never get elected despite his roaring $247 million economy. For the locals, it is more important to have a stupid leader who is a nice guy than having a smart and strong leader who is blunt and straight to the point.
One of my [foreign] friends even went to the extent of giving it to me by saying he really enjoys to see [locals] suffer because of their stupidity in electing governors who have no clue as to how to manage the economy, and legislators who just drive new cars, travel, and get jobs for their kids without doing anything for the taxpayers.
Lala Land is heading south and our people are heading south. But please don’t talk about the economy as it has no meaning for us.
Biba Marianas.

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