In fact, he was worth it and he had plenty to offer; however, like so many before him, he drew his last breath and his time with us ended. In the grand scheme of all things human, mortality reigns supreme — one way or another we all fall down…ashes to ashes…dust to dust. Our time here is limited. But, this is not to pontificate over any revelations about the faces of death or the here-after rather it is to talk about living and our general quest for quality in pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.
My late-friend would be angered by his untimely demise; in fact, he was enraged at how he lived during his final months. “Where did my life go!?” he would say during some of my visits with him. To the casual onlooker, all seemed well. He was friendly, funny and very personable. Still, he lived alone and battled (with a bottle as his sword) the effects of a mental illness — the disability you can’t always see — for which he could not get adequate care and for which there are minimal systems for peer support in the CNMI. In truth, he spent his last months struggling, trapped on a tight-rope between grand delusions of what he wanted to be and the dim reality of what he had become…defeated, lonely, and lost.
It’s no secret that the mental health care system as we know it leaves much to be desired (not just in the CNMI, but throughout the Nation as a whole), so we should be asking why and what is being done to improve it? Keep in mind that the federal government invests millions of dollars into state/local governments to provide for appropriate mental health care and that the CNMI receives a fair share. As such, every patient is entitled to appropriate services under least restrictive and supportive conditions. Such services must include “sufficient qualified mental health professional staff” — time will tell if, in fact, the CNMI government measures up to this obligation though, in my opinion, the current outlook is bleak.
That aside, the more important consideration for each of us ought to be whether or not we are making a conscientious, personal effort to preserve and/or improve our own mental health. In the absence of an effective, formal system of care the onus is on each of us to seek out and achieve better mental health for ourselves — at the very least a wellness plan should incorporate exercise, good nutrition and relaxation techniques. On the other hand, the timeless method of personal therapy by way of unhealthy alternatives often in the form of self-medication does little more than perpetuate existing feelings of angst.
Advocates at the Northern Marianas Protection & Advocacy Systems Inc. often tread a fine line between having to help people and helping people to help themselves. Ultimately, the most that we can do is clear a path through unwanted barriers of discrimination and other such roadblocks, but we can not force anyone to follow behind us. All people (disability or otherwise) have the absolute, inalienable right to live their lives the way they chose which, for what it’s worth, includes the right to seek out and avail of available services.
My late-friend lived and died by himself, but he was not alone in his fight and in his need for appropriate care and regular peer support. He would have benefitted greatly had he been able to foster a sense of peace in and around himself through an environment of supportive and mutually respectful peers. As it was, he drew some strength from the natural vibrations of life and sought to connect with his inherent capacity to be high on life. In the end, I believe he longed most of all to live out his days in the comforting embrace of people who loved, respected and supported him… I personally can’t think of a better wellness plan.
For more services for individuals with mental illness and people with other disabilities, please feel free to call NMPASI at 235-7273/4 [voice] / 235-7278 [ tty] / 235-7275 [fax] or contact us on-line via www.nmpasi.com.
JIM RAYPHAND
Executive Director
NMPASI
