IF you are one of my five Guam fans, 50 Internet fans, or simply a member of the Cult of Marcelo on Saipan, you have been asking yourself one question: “Where the heck is Marcelo Illarmo?” I have been negligent in filling your lives with humor and inspiration on a weekly basis. I apologize. I have been traveling and unable to turn in a column due to computer access issues or the e-mail gremlins intercepting my e-mails to my editors.
Why have I been traveling for two months? Well, it’s a long story, but I have been traveling on my way to moving from Guam. My last day of working for the Legislature was April 26 and since then I have been Missing In Action, whether due to a bottle or due to being in a place where I did not have a computer. So I cannot write at the moment a humorous column filled with insight on the political ongoings of Guam and Saipan because I have no idea what is happening. So I am going to take this time and suspend the humor column for just this week, and tell you why I have decided to leave Guam.
Although Guam is my home and I love it to death, it was not my choice to come home after graduation. I had to come home to repay a loan. I still feel that despite my love of Guam, I never truly felt like I entirely fit in. It could be summed up like this: I don’t like car shows.
In high school, the number one event was Auto Jam. For weeks people would get excited and all you could hear was, “Hey you gonna go to Gibson’s?” or “You gonna check out Auto Jam Saturday? It should be solid.” I just didn’t see the appeal. Who would want to hang out and look at cars converted so that they looked like an El Camino? I guess that’s cool, but you would think U2 was going to be at Gibson’s instead of Miss Lowrider Magazine April 1994. Then at school I had to pretend that I went to Auto Jam. My only contribution was, “Yeah, and that Lowrider chick was totally hot.”
So I spent most of my time loving Guam yet never entirely feeling comfortable, my disinterest in Auto Jam being the clearest example. I wasn’t a jock, or a cool guy or someone whose car bounced. Always slightly on the outside. But college was truly solid. I fit in. Girls didn’t care that I wasn’t a football star, and liked me because I was smart and funny. I achieved great personal and educational growth and success. I started writing and acting. It was lots of fun. I returned to Guam with great reluctance. I value the time spent with family and the experience I gained through my work, but the entire last 18 months spent on Guam I always felt there was something calling to me on the mainland. I guess I haven’t been out of it for a month but I was really Missing In Action for the past year and a half. I needed to progress, to achieve growth again. To do that, I needed to leave.
Now I am in the states and I am trying to find out what the heck is so important that I left my beautiful tropical home. Right now it is summer where I live and it’s 50 degrees outside. I hate it. Don’t they know that summer is supposed to be warm? But I’ll stick it out until I discover what it is I’m looking for, and then I’ll build my house in Ipan and gain another 30 pounds. And as long as I’m printed, you too will be along for the ride.
I promise funny and less sentimental crap next week. Peace out Guam and the CNMI.
