I am married and consider myself fortunate. I have established good rapport with my wife’s relatives. However, I had to make adjustments.
I first met my wife about 15 years ago and could not have imagined a life with her – I was not her type and my perception of life then was exactly the opposite of hers. Nearly everything in our lives then did not match at all. We were exact opposites.She was a devoted Protestant (and still is) and well-mannered – civilized as defined by a majority of the society. I, on the other hand, could have caused angels to fall off the steeples of the Catholic churches I walked into and my manners were a little short of barbaric.I am almost sure that some of the members of my wife’s family, if they had a say in the relationship then, would have elected to vote me out. Who could have blamed them? I was a person who lived on beers and my best friend was Jack Daniels. My wife was certainly not considered a friend.How we ended up together is beyond me; and to this day, I thank God for giving her to me and for granting her patience to deal with me. I am happily married to a delightful woman – the one whom I was chosen to be with for the rest of my breathing days and possibly, the life after death. I am grateful.I have learned that marriages work out because those who are in it are accepting of each other. In addition, each of the people involved in a marriage is willing to change – not to accommodate his or her spouse, but to make his or her personal life better. I have seen friends who have made changes in their lives – in an attempt to save their marriages – for the benefit of their spouses and are living in dire consequences. Some have chosen to be stupid, for lack of a more precise word, and remained in abusive and self annihilating relationships with their opposite halves. I wonder, why?A marriage can only function properly and appropriately when those in it are willing to change to make the marriage beneficial to both parties – opposites often want to change the other rather than self (I have tried it many times and have failed miserably.)But I have learned. If you are married or are contemplating marriage, follow this simple flight instruction: “In case of an emergency, put your mask on first before attending to another person,” and your marriage should fly. If it doesn’t, consider landing first before attempting to walk out. The way down is long and there might not be people to cushion your fall. Be happy with your spouse – he or she just might be willing to change for the better.
