HOW does a single man raise two girls? That question was put to me recently by a good friend who we can call Mike. I smiled and looked back at him with an expression that showed I had no idea. I am also trying to raise two girls, but I have the invaluable help of my wife. Ever since he asked me the question I have thought of little else. How does a single man raise two daughters?
I know Mike’s daughters, and they are more of a blessing than a curse, many times over. In fact, I cannot imagine Mike without them. Other than my own, of course, they are the sweetest girls I know and the easiest to get along with. But it is what brought Mike to this point in his life that is the sad part of his tale of the Pacific.
I suppose being married to a Chamolinian man and having two young children was more than his wife could stand. She ran out on them and returned to her native country, seeking something which we will never know. There are worse ways to go through life than being married with two children. There are worse predicaments to be in. Mike will say he was not a good husband, that he did things that drove her away. While that may be true, I know Mike has a big heart, so while he makes mistakes, they are just that, mistakes, not a way of life for him. No, she cannot divert the blame for the failed marriage to Mike; she must keep that for herself.
Mike supports his family by catching reef fish and selling them at street market. Islanders buy his fish even when they could get it from the store because they know they are supporting a good family. Mike tells me he does not sell as much as he used to. He thinks people prefer packaged food and the peace of mind that comes with it. His fish is fresher, but many people are willing to trade freshness for security when it comes to food.
I remember sitting at Naked Fish on Beach Road some years back and watched as a pickup truck pulled up with a bed full of fish caught that day. The owner, Butch, looked over the catch and bought the ones he wanted. He pulled a huge tuna, which had been swimming the ocean only an hour or two before, out of the truck and carried it into the restaurant. My wife and I shared an agreeable glance and I yelled out, “Butch, we will have the tuna!” I am here to tell you, that was the best sashimi we have ever eaten.
Mike tells me he knows the time will come when he cannot support his family by fishing the reef. He does not know how he will support family because he is not good at anything else. I disagree. Mike is good at a great many things and could find livelihood in any numbers of trades.
His girls were children when I met them. They are young women now. They are beautiful, well-adjusted, independent, smart, and resourceful. They are a pleasure to be around and always optimistic. They will find success in whatever they choose to do in life. Their success is Mike’s success. In spite of the challenges, he instilled in them fine qualities that define true beauty. It is not the stuff of cosmetics counters and reality television shows. Real beauty, without sounding too cliché, comes from within. It shines forth from a person’s personality. Mike’s daughters are truly beautiful.
Mike worries what will happen to him in old age. He has not saved any money and his health is not what it used to be. I am not worried for him. His daughters will see to it that is always warm and well-fed. He will always have a place to rest his head. How does a single man raise two girls? Mike knows the answer.
BC Cook, PhD lived on Saipan and has taught history for 20 years. He currently resides on the mainland U.S.
BC Cook
