I have not come to terms, however, with death as it has intentionally skipped a few persons who have managed to get on a number of “better dead than alive” wish lists – lists that relatives have compiled that more or less points to members of our loving society who are basically unwanted.
I do not have a death wish for anyone, but there have a few moments in my life where I could have been death knocking on a couple of doors – had it not been for caring people, I probably would be one of those considered to be a threat to society and in need of rehabilitation (and you would be indirectly forced to fund for my food, housing, and security for the duration my incarceration or until I become worthy of a pardon.)What’s more, I could not imagine taking a life anymore – I hate funerals.A funeral, as far as I am concerned, signifies that death has won and an individual’s life has ended, and so begins the clan disputes.
There have been more than 8 funerals since the beginning of this year.The living had struggled to make sure that those who passed away were laid to rest in respectful and dignified manner; and that each was buried in accordance to established traditional burial rites.I must admit that I have very limited knowledge about what an ideal Palauan funeral ought to be; but I do know that it is suppose to be a time for relatives to get together and put a closure to a life that once was.In addition, I think a funeral should not be a burden on anyone living – it should be a shared moment in the lives of the living.And if respect, courtesy, and honor have to be injected into any funeral, it must be directed at those who are still alive – the dead would not know, but the living would remember.
During the recent funerals, some of the dead were honored while others were trampled upon – heard through the elite and discreet Palauan “grave vine.”In fact, I heard that some of the living are now related sworn enemies – destined not to associate with each other until someone dies again.Then I also heard other rumors that so and so’s funeral could have been this and that had so and so done this and that during the past so many years.The dead must be laughing out loud at the sight of the living.
Like I said, I hate funerals.Funerals indicate that loved ones – and not so loved ones too – have left the atmosphere.Funerals often lead to bickering and unnecessary cruelty that seemingly wise, respectable, and knowledgeable living human beings put each other through.
As much as I can, I shy away from funerals.I do not like to see people crying.I do not like to add to the inflated debts.I do not want part of any feud.I do not want hear pretentious eulogies about good deeds.
I hope to see you before you die.I will not attend your funeral.I will, however, try to be of service to you now that you are alive.When I see you happy, I am happy.When you are dead, I’ll remember you.In the meantime, visit your relatives.Do something good for them.Their funerals will come soon enough.Live long!
