I want to be a Chamorro, but being an American is so complicated yet I have to be both whether or not because I do not have any choice.
History can come to aid in my deliberation. Do I learn to live in my infancy, or be guided by one of greater stature than I? Let me put the CNMI here, and America there, with an umbilical cord in between that holds them together. Now picturing America and the CNMI in that imaginary womb, I ask myself as a Chamorro in the CNMI: When will the time be to cut that umbilical cord and who would do it for me in my state of infancy?
In this imaginary womb, it has to be America as the mother for she is of greater stature than the CNMI in all the practical sense of the word. Oh Mother America we beseech you then to enrich yourself with sustenance that can foster and prosper your infant child, the CNMI. Talk to the CNMI in your belly, sing to your child in your stomach, pray for her to God our Father, and hope for that day when you will deliver her out of your womb so she, the CNMI, can grow and continue your heritage.
In real motherhood, it takes nine months, but in this imaginary motherhood, it can take up to a lifetime. So take your time Mother America, and be patient child CNMI. Hold on to each other and do not allow abortion if life is hard. Believe in God who makes all things work for good and trust that although the birth pang is expected, He will deliver you both, America and the CNMI. Be firm because although it seems that we can’t live with each other, and can’t live without each other, we have a God that can make all things possible for his own praise. Haifa Adai, Tirow.
ALEXANDRO
“The Colonel” SABLAN
Dandan, Saipan
