I hope your HMO covered the expenses from your four day stay at the Guam Memorial Hospital. If it didn’t, you should call the governor and ask for relief. Wait, he is off island…. Oh well, we can ask the lt. governor. He is a doctor and he would probably totally understand. Wait, he is off island too… Well darn, who is next in line to do the proclamation signings and photo opportunities while those two are away? I think it is the head of the public relations’ office. Makes sense right?
Anyway, if that doesn’t work I think I could give you my 2002 income tax refund to help out. Wait, my wife just told me they were still doing the ones from 2003.
Well, since GovGuam is going out on the market to float a bond or to borrow money on the open market or something, maybe we can get one of the senators to propose a bill that will include reimbursing you for your medical expenses.
Of course, the bill has to make it through the legislature, into the hands of the second or third in charge of the governor’s public relations’ office who has now, I’m told, been the interim governor of Guam for four months. Gosh, where are they when we need them.
December 12: Dear Santa, Thanks Santa for sending me a copy of your hospital bill. Wow, 35 pages! They charged you $987 per night for a bed? I hope that came with eight-hour sponge baths. Who knew the GMH would fit so many miscellaneous charges into 35 pages. Again, I am so sorry about the burns. I hope they gave you some great generic antibiotics and painkillers.
Anyway, I know this is probably moot, but I hope it is alright to give you my wish list. All you can do is say no right? I’ll be looking both ways before crossing Marine Dr. Route 1 Christmas Eve lest I be the one to get run over by a reindeer. I am sure Dasher is still sore at me over this whole mess. I heard you two were close.
Now, onto my wish list: Well, I guess if I lived in Illinois I would wish for a seat in the Senate, or I could wish to work in the governor’s house because the chances of me having to fill the governor’s duties as interim governor would be much fun.
I would play golf anytime I wanted, get my photo taken as if being followed by the paparazzi, and still have plenty of time to sit on my ass in one of the wings of the governor’s house and play guitar.
JASON PALMERTREE
Tamuning, Guam
