One day, Paul Soe died of natural causes. He went up to heaven. Saint Peter opened the door for him so he could enter the Lord’s kingdom. St. Peter said, “Paul proceed to the Lord.”
The Lord said, “Paul, according to my records, you have not violated any of my ten commandments but I have two questions to ask you. My first question is, have you ever cheated on your wife?”
Paul said “NO.”
“My second question is, have you ever lied to the people down on earth?”
Paul said NO again.
The Lord said, “Well you have been an honest person. Is there any question you would like to ask me before I send you to your destination?”
Paul said YES. “Lord,” Paul added, “why did I die too early?”
The Lord said, “Because your time has come.”
Paul thanked the Lord who gave him a Mercedes Benz to proceed to his destination.
Five days later, Frank Doe died in an accident. He went up to heaven.
The Lord said, “Frank I have some questions. I hope that you are not going to be disappointed or upset. You are the head of an agency that provides healthcare to the people while also educating them about the need to take care of their health. I thank you and your agency, but Frank, what about those cars down on earth? They’re a health and environmental hazard. And what about the people who burn their trash in their yards? If you and your agency are concerned about the people’s health, then why don’t you guys lobby your lawmakers to ban the sale of cigarettes? Which one is important, the people’s health or the money?”
Frank told the Lord, “That can be done but there are three things in my mind.”
“What is that Frank?”
“Lord, number one, the government is not going to make revenues; number two, the smokers would be disappointed; and number 3, the distributors would be angry because they won’t be making money.”
“Frank, if health is very important then the government has to do what must be done, or do you believe that I alone decide when to end lives?”
“So why did you take me so early? I have not enjoyed my life yet.”
“Frank that’s your problem. I gave you lots of time to enjoy life and you wasted it.”
The Lord then asked Frank if he cheated on his wife or lied to the people.
Frank said, “A little.”
The Lord said, “Take this bicycle and proceed to your destination.”
Six days later Congressman Sam Doe died of a heart attack.
He went up to heaven where the Lord told him, “I see in my records that there are a lot of things that you did not accomplish. You also lied to the public. There was this 24-year-old man who left for the states with his wife and two kids to try the life there. Before he departed the CNMI he wrote you a letter. That was four years ago but you never responded.”
“Lord I receive lots of letters but which one?”
“The young man asked you to look into a corruption case that the government failed to bring to the court’s attention. Others were prosecuted while others got away with it. He wrote you the letter because he trusted you as a leader and also because you were digging government corruption cases. Is there any other question you would like to ask me?”
Sam said, “Lord why did you take me so early?”
“Because your time is up and you’re not doing your job. Now tell me. Have you ever cheated on your wife and have you lied to the public on earth?”
Sam replied, “YES.”
“OK Sam take this skateboard and proceed to your destination.”
Ten days later, the wife of the congressman died of natural death. She went up to heaven and met the Lord. Her name was Mary.
The Lord said, “Mary I see that you are an honest and good person but I would like to ask you two questions: have you ever cheated on your husband and have you lied to the public?”
Mary responded “NO.”
The Lord said, “OK Mary take this Mercedes Benz and proceed to your destination.”
While Mary was driving down the road she saw a guy on a skateboard. She rolled down her window and saw that it was her husband. Mary said “OH MY GOD YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND LYING TO THE PUBLIC!”
RAY AGULTO
Kannat Tabla, Saipan
