Clarie S. Kosack, a yoga instructor who had annual mammogram every year except in 2005 and 2006 thought the lump would go away very soon, but it did not.
The following month, she went on a trip to India, riding on camels, visiting the fabulous Taj Mahal and other sites but the sore lump in her breast refused to go away. She finally decided to go for a checkup and in December, a doctor told her to get a mammogram and ultrasound ASAP. The trips to the doctor followed, and she kept an active life as they waited for the result.
Everything went well, until that fateful day in January 2007 when the phone call came. It was confirmed. Kosack had stage 2 breast cancer and needed surgery as soon as possible.
“I was shocked because I was always eating healthy food, I was not overweight and did a lot of exercise, I was teaching yoga and I should be okay,” Kosack said.
But on the other hand, she said that she was not too shocked because her mother had breast cancer. She said that she just didn’t realize the chance of having it was quite high.
“My husband did the research about breast cancer because I did not want to know any more than what is necessary and get more scary information,” she said.
Off to the UCSF Medical Center in San Francisco Kosack went, with her husband Rex who never left her side throughout the whole ordeal.
She underwent the first surgery in February 2007 for lumpectomy, hoping that it would be the end of her troubles. But there was more bad news.
Kosack had a Herzneu type of cancer that was growing very fast, and the cancer cells had continued over the margin of the surgery site. The tumor size was 2.5 cm, much larger than what was shown on mammogram. She must have a mastectomy on her left breast and there were new concerns for cyst in her right breast. She has to have an MRI and a biopsy. To add to it, Kosack was hormone receptive negative, which means she cannot have hormone therapy.
“That was a shock for us both and that was the first and only time that I cried,” she said.
She added that she was lucky because a month before her surgery, they learned about a new FDA-approved drug Hercepton which was administered to her on IV injection weekly. She needed another surgery in one month.
Kosack said that they went home to Saipan for a brief respite before going back to San Francisco for the second and the third surgery which is reconstruction.
Kosack underwent six sessions of chemotherapy and one year of injections. She lost her hair but never got discouraged. She wore a wig until her hair grew again.
“I kept myself busy during the treatment so I won’t have time to bemoan the unfortunate thing that happened to me,” Kosack said.
She spent a lot of time cooking, went on hiking and kept going out to make healing a lot faster.
Kosack recorded her entire cancer journey in a journal filled with illustrations, a journal that helped her a lot in the healing process.
Support systems
As a patient with a heavy illness, not only cancer, Kosack said are support systems are very helpful.
“The family is the first support system for a patient — spouse, parents, kids, brothers and sisters. When you are sick, you need someone to encourage and push you to be positive and prevent you from sinking into a deep hole and drag you out,” Kosack said.
She added that friends are the second support group that can help a lot in a patient’s recovery. She said she sent and received loads of emails and communication from friends that kept her going every day.
The third group of support group are the medical team — doctors and surgeons who worked with her during the treatments.
“We were fortunate to have an excellent team of doctors who provided us answers to all our questions and kept us well informed of all our options throughout the treatment,” Kosack said.
Kosack, who was yesterday’s guest at the Rotary Club meeting at the Hyatt Regency said that breast cancer is still a taboo, and not many still would want to talk about it.
“Breast cancer is one of the most curable cancers, even if it is already in the second or third stage. The important thing is go for a mammogram regularly, and get medical checkup when you feel anything unusual,” she said.
For caretakers of cancer patients, Kosack said that the most important thing is you should take care of your mental and physical health first before you can be of any help to your patient.
If you become a patient, it’s important not to waste time complaining and crying about your misfortune.
Keep up a positive attitude because that is a way to heal, not just medicine but your mental attitude that helps you to heal faster.
When Kosack came back to Saipan, she immediately went back to teach yoga even though she was still continuing with her chemo treatment.
“I feel so much better physically and mentally,” she said.
She added that her yoga and meditation practices assisted her in her cancer journey.
“I find solace in the quiet moments when nothing distracts me and I can turn my attention inward to find peace of mind and strength of body,” Kosack said.
Copies of Kosack’s 40-page journal had been printed for distribution by the Department of Public Health Comprehensive Cancer Control Program through funding from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention.
