These lessons came roaring back recently when I saw a bumper sticker with the words, “Namaike, but nice.” I was pleasantly surprised to learn that several of our island ethnicities share a common word in Namaike — loosely translated it means disrespectful or acting tough or showing-off or putting yourself above people as if you’re better than them. For islanders (at least by my understanding of it), this dove-tails with the idea of unconditional respect for your elders such that you bow to lower yourself when walking past people and you don’t speak out of turn especially when older, much wiser people are present to carry the conversation.
At a gathering of Chuukese people this past Friday evening wherein the president of the Federated States of Micronesia was present to speak, I found myself nearly bursting with questions which I did not ask. Mind you, as far as islanders go, I am as American and Americanized as any you’ll find…generally, I have no problem speaking my mind. Yet, on that night, I remained silent, not because the president of a nation presided, but because of the gentle, old men that sat in the audience. In particular, I stayed quiet “out of respect” for an uncle (who, coincidentally, uses a wheelchair now) and a few other distinguished gentlemen in the crowd who say more with one word than I could with a hundred — culturally speaking, my rightful place in their company was to sit and listen. Among other things, it struck me how the wheelchair seemed to disappear and the audience fell utterly silent when my uncle spoke despite the fact that he did not stand.
It occurs to me that one of the greatest barriers for islanders in advocating for change (whether on behalf of people with disabilities or not) comes from this notion of respect and how sometimes even speaking can be construed as disrespectful. If islanders share this common reluctance to speak in the presence of their elders, then how often do you suppose they back away from asking the pointed questions or demanding for accountability because they don’t want to over-step their cultural bounds? How many of them can face-off against an agency representative who may happen to be their “aunty” or “uncle”? I think you’d have to be an islander with an islander up-bringing to fully comprehend these cultural pressures, but believe me, they are real and, more often than not, people would rather go without than to offend.
There aren’t very many people exponentially older than me nowadays, but on occasion I do find myself nudging up against talking circles of older, more experienced and wiser people than I will ever be. In my personal capacity, I relish the opportunity to sit back, listen and take in the wisdom of others, but professionally, as with all other advocates at the Northern Marianas Protection & Advocacy Systems Inc., I’d be remiss if I didn’t sometimes speak forcefully or out of turn — our job requires that we aggressively advocate on behalf of individuals with disabilities particularly when they can’t advocate for themselves. So, tirow, faisho, yan dispensa, but please understand that NMPASI’s advocates are professionally Namaike, but personally Nice.
For more on the Northern Marianas Protection & Advocacy Services Inc. or other disability-related questions, please feel free to call (670) 235-7273/4 [voice] / 235-7275 [fax] / 235-7278 [tty] or contact us on-line at www.nmpasi.com.
JIM RAYPHAND
Executive Director
Northern Marianas Protection
& Advocacy Services Inc
