‘The way a society is, it starts with the parents. We can raise them well, and we can have better societies in the future. It starts with us.’
<p style=”text-align: right;”><strong>—John Oliver Delos Reyes Gonzales</strong>
<a href=”https://gonzalesforcongress.us/about-john-gonzales/” target=”_blank”>https://gonzalesforcongress.us/about-john-gonzales/</a>
AS summer winds down and the back-to-school rush begins, parents are gearing up to help their kids transition from lazy days to busy school schedules. This year, we’re bringing you some golden nuggets of wisdom from John Oliver Delos Reyes Gonzales, more affectionately known as “Bolis.” Hailing from As Terlaje, Bolis has a wealth of parenting tips that are sure to inspire and energize families.
Bolis recently sat down with Marianas Variety to share his thoughts on parenting in the modern age, offering insights that are both timeless and practical.
Growing up without gizmos
Picture this: A childhood without smartphones, tablets, or video games. Sounds like a dream, right? For John Bolis, this was reality. Growing up in Saipan, he was surrounded by the great outdoors and a loving family. “We were exposed to lots of activities outdoors. We needed to get firewood, harvest vegetables, do gardening, and engage in various sports. This built our focus and stamina,” he recalls.
Screen time: Handle with care
One of Bolis’s top tips for modern parents is to manage screen time wisely. With gadgets and gizmos at every turn, it’s essential to set some boundaries. “Make chores a part of the routine,” he suggests. “Introduce kids to outdoor activities and use screen time as a reward for good behavior.” It’s all about balance!
Embedding cultural and family values
Bolis’s children are often praised for their impeccable manners and respectfulness. This didn’t happen by accident. Bolis believes in instilling cultural values from a young age. “I am humbled every time someone praises my kids on their behavior outside our home. They ask permission to enter other people’s homes, clean up after themselves, and show politeness, especially to elders,” he shares.
The magic of parental communication
Ever wonder what the secret sauce is for raising well-adjusted kids? According to Bolis, it’s all about communication. “In our house, this has been a [consistent] practice. …Asking my kids how they are, what made them upset that day, what made them happy—things like that go a long way. This connects us more to our children,” he explains.
Bursting with pride
As a single dad and a widowed parent, Bolis beams with pride when talking about his three children, who have all achieved great things. His eldest, Ensign Genzo Matua, graduated from the U.S. Coast Guard Academy in 2024, while Seiji Maga’lahi (Class of 2026) and Kiyokazu Ma’gas (Class of 2028) are currently attending the same academy. “Communication gives better mental health to kids,” he emphasizes.
It all starts at home
Bolis believes the foundation of a strong society begins at home. “The way a society is, it starts with the parents. We can raise them well, and we can have better societies in the future. It starts with us,” he asserts.
Ready to rock this school year? Here are Bolis’s top tips for parents
1. Limit screen time: In today’s world, screens are everywhere, and it’s easy for kids to spend hours glued to them. Bolis suggests setting clear limits on screen time to ensure children have a balanced lifestyle. Instead of allowing unrestricted access to tablets and smartphones, designate specific times for their use. Encourage kids to earn their screen time by completing chores or engaging in physical activities. This not only helps them develop discipline but also teaches them the value of earning rewards.
2. Routine chores: Chores might seem like a drag, but they’re a fantastic way to teach responsibility and time management. Bolis emphasizes the importance of integrating chores into daily routines. Whether it’s making their beds, helping with the dishes, or taking out the trash, these tasks teach children to contribute to the household. Chores also instill a sense of accomplishment and can be a great opportunity for family bonding. Make it fun by turning chores into games or setting up a reward system for completed tasks.
3. Reward good behavior: Positive reinforcement goes a long way in shaping behavior. Bolis recommends using rewards to encourage good behavior and achievements. These rewards don’t always have to be materialistic; they can be as simple as extra playtime, a special outing, or even a family movie night. The key is to acknowledge and celebrate their efforts and accomplishments. This helps build their self-esteem and motivates them to continue making positive choices.
4. Promote outdoor fun: With so many indoor entertainment options, it’s easy to forget the joys of playing outside. Bolis highlights the benefits of outdoor activities for children’s physical and mental health. Encourage your kids to play sports, ride their bikes, go hiking, or simply spend time in the backyard. Outdoor play helps improve their physical fitness, boosts their mood, and enhances their creativity. Plus, it’s a great way for them to make new friends and learn important social skills.
5. Teach cultural and family values: In these tough times, understanding and respecting cultural values is crucial. Bolis believes in embedding these values from a young age. Teach your children about your family’s cultural heritage, traditions, and customs. Encourage them to be polite, especially to elders, and to respect different perspectives. This not only helps them develop a strong sense of identity but also fosters empathy and respect for others. Share stories, celebrate cultural events, and involve them in community activities to deepen their understanding.
6. Keep the conversation going: Communication is the foundation of a strong parent-child relationship. Bolis stresses the importance of maintaining open lines of communication with your children. Make it a habit to ask about their day, their feelings, and their experiences. Listen actively and show genuine interest in what they have to say. This practice helps you stay connected with your children, understand their needs, and provide the necessary support. It also encourages them to express themselves freely and develop emotional intelligence.
7. Family time rocks: In our busy lives, it’s easy to overlook the importance of spending quality time together as a family. Bolis advocates for prioritizing family interactions to strengthen bonds and create lasting memories. Whether it’s having meals together, playing board games, or going on family outings, these moments are invaluable. Family time helps build trust, fosters a sense of belonging, and provides a safe space for children to share their thoughts and feelings. Make it a point to regularly schedule family activities that everyone enjoys.
As you prepare for the new school year, let Bolis’s energetic and practical advice guide you. His emphasis on balance, communication, and cultural values offers a refreshing perspective in today’s fast-paced, tech-driven world. So, take a leaf out of Bolis’s book and make this school year the best one yet!
Having fun outdoors, Bolis with his sons and friends.
John Bolis with son Kiyokazu Må’gas.
John Bolis with his son, Seiji Maga’låhi.
John Bolis with his son, Ensign Genzo Matua.
The Bolis Boys chilling at Aqua Resort Club.
Proud moment for John Bolis, second from left, with his sons.
Ensign Genzo Matua (Class of 2024), Kiyokazu Må’gas (Class of 2028) and Seiji Maga’låhi (Class of 2026) at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy.
Throwback: +Charlene Kiyomi Chin Suzuki poses with her sons.
