Anti-domestic violence advocates, survivors of violence, public safety stakeholders and CNMI officials gathered in the Royal Taga Ballroom of Saipan World Resort on Friday to mark the start of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
IN a proclamation signing ceremony at Saipan World Resort on Friday, October was declared Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
The event was hosted by the Northern Marianas Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence and attended by a mixed audience of advocates for the victims of domestic violence, the survivors of domestic violence, public safety and other CNMI officials led by Lt. Gov. David M. Apatang.
During the event, Kiki Benjamin, the coalition’s associate director, said: “It is a time to remember, celebrate, and connect with one another with a true sense of unity, as we renew and reaffirm our commitment to raising awareness, supporting survivors, and ending domestic violence.”
Bridge of Light Award
Also on Friday, the coalition announced that this year’s Bridge of Light awardee is Department of Public Safety Officer Shannon Dela Cruz.
Maise Tenorio, coalition executive director, said that Dela Cruz is a “dedicated, committed and compassionate service provider who takes great pride in keeping our community safe.”
Malyssa Castro, coalition board chair, said Dela Cruz won the award for demonstrating “commitment to enhancing victim safety and/or increasing offender accountability,” and possessing a “philosophy of victim-centered, empowerment-based advocacy.”
She said Dela Cruz was nominated by three different people.
According to one of them, Dela Cruz has been donating her personal money to victims of domestic or sexual violence and has collected donations from fellow police officers in order to purchase “things [victims] urgently need,” to include food, water, or clothing.
Dela Cruz was off island, but she recorded her remarks, which were played at the proclamation signing.
“The Bridge of Light award serves as a reminder of why we all work towards peace and ending domestic and sexual violence,” Dela Cruz said. “We must continue to support the victims and survivors and strengthen the foundation of the bridge that connects them to the necessary help and support.”
Dela Cruz won a plaque, cash award, and “self-care packages,” Tenorio said.
She added that the Tan Siu Lin Foundation donated a two-night stay at Crowne Plaza and a dining package while Bridge Capital donated a one-night stay at Hyatt Regency Saipan, with a lunch and dinner package.
Domestic violence victim
Friday’s event was also highlighted by testimony from “Tamara,” a victim of domestic violence originally from Peru, who shared her struggle with physical, verbal, and mental abuse.
Tamara recounted meeting her abuser and now ex-husband in Peru while she was a college student. Although things started off well for the couple, Tamara said the abuse began with “small” warning signs. She mentioned her abuser’s requests to refrain from talking to certain male friends on Facebook. She likewise described having to explain to her abuser who all her male friends were on the site. Tamara said from there, the abuse snowballed.
While living in the states with her abuser on a fiancé-visa, Tamara said social media continued to be an issue. She said she was slapped in the face when her abuser discovered she had continued to communicate with a friend despite being told not to.
“Looking back, I realized I should have walked away at the moment but I didn’t,” Tamara said. “That slap turned into more severe abuse. He kicked me in my ribs in the early stages of my pregnancy and shaved a portion of my hair.”
Tamara said she was degraded and called stupid by her abuser to further undermine her self-esteem.
“If I expressed any concern he didn’t like, he would resort to sabotaging my cleaning efforts in our home, emptying the clothes from our closet to embarrass and humiliate me,” she said.
While she was in the states, Tamara did not have a credit card, a green card, or a driver’s license.
Her final breaking point came when the couple relocated to Saipan. The abuse had carried over, and Tamara began to see how the abuse was affecting her children.
During one instance of abuse, Tamara said she was in the shower, when her abuser burst through the door to verbally and physically assault her. The commotion woke up her two daughters.
“I remember seeing my daughters…. They woke up. I remember seeing my eldest daughter assure her little sister that everything will be OK,” Tamara said, crying. “She had her little sister and told her, ‘Don’t worry everything will be OK, mommy will be fine let’s go to sleep.’ ”
After the incident, Tamara received a phone call from her children’s school, who informed her that her daughter had mentioned the abuse. Tamara was informed that if the children become involved in acts of violence, Child Protective Services would intervene, and remove the children.
Tamara said after that phone call, she waited until her abuser left the island on a trip. With the help of a visiting family member, she relocated to an apartment in Garapan. She has since moved on with her life and is no longer in a romantic relationship with her abuser.
She hopes that her story could inspire other victims of abuse to leave their abusers.
“My message for everyone who is experiencing this same type of abuse is that you can do it, too, and you’re not alone. If I could have done it alone, on a foreign island, with no familiar faces or family, in a different culture and language, then you can too.”
