I remember every word I heard and how it scared the heck out of me. It was a dreadful wake-up call but looking back, I know now that it was actually a blessing in disguise. The one thing I needed.
Over the 12 years that I was on Saipan, my mother kept on reminding me to start building my own home and a business that can support me and my children when I will be back for good. I never paid attention. For one, I was not thinking of going home for good anytime soon and for another, I didn’t have the money to do anything. It didn’t feel wrong that time. I also remember Ms. Lavilla, then our labor representative, who several times would talk to me about the need to create an awareness among the CNMI guest workers on the importance of smart living in terms of how we spend our hard earned money, savings and the fact that CNMI was just our temporary home. That was the reason why we had the Philippine labor office come to some of our meetings to explain job opportunities in other countries like Canada, Italy, etc because we all knew how depressed the CNMI economy and it was so impossible to encourage anyone to save.
So going back to the memories of the day I was told to leave Laos, I remember staying in our hotel room for days just crying and desperately trying to come up with a plan. I could not go back to Saipan because I didn’t have a job anymore but at the same time, I could not also go home to the Philippines and be a burden to my family. I didn’t have any savings at all. That’s when I realized how miserable I was and how correct were my mother and Ms. Lavilla. God, in His mercy, gave me another chance. He probably figured that at the end of the second day, I already saw the lesson He was trying to teach me. On the third day, I received an unexpected call from my former boss and the rest is history. The lesson I learned from that experience is that fear comes from insecurities. The fear to lose my job came from knowing that I was not prepared to go home. I learned the valuable lesson of everyday working on the process of preparing myself to go home, mentally and financially. From that time on, I would make a budget every payday on how I will spend my money. I make sure that every cent will be spent wisely. Fourteen months later, I had already started my Internet cafe, a shop, a small eatery and building my dream house. And while I still fear the thought of losing my job, I live my life content knowing that I have a place anytime I need to go home. I’ve also learned that everyone we meet and become friends with while we are away from home is temporary but not our family. They are permanent part of our whole being. I have learned to appreciate more my family and nurture my relationship with them.
It is never late to learn and change our perceptions. The CNMI is not our home. We should be excited to go back home one day and be with our family. After all, it is really home sweet home.
IRENE N. TANTIADO
Savannakhet, Laos
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