Parenting is not as it is all hyped-up to be – difficult. It has clear, definite, and simple parent-to-child-specific guidelines, which are applicable no matter what the circumstances are; and it is a learning experience. It is not, as many “parentologists” seem to suggest, a monumental task nor is it innate – consider the number of parentless children whose “parents” are still living.
I have learned to be a fairly good parent partly from experiences I have had with my parents and the people I grew up among, but mostly from my children and my wife. I consider myself today blessed and fortunate to have been born to a set of parents who did not give me everything I wanted or expected, but everything I needed; into extended families that adhered to traditional norms that despite the countless times I got into trouble, my parents did not ever set foot in a lawyer’s office or taken steps into a courtroom; into a society, then, whose officers relied on the “spirit of the laws” so much more than “the application of the written laws to the fullest extent” and for that matter, were very considerate personalities; and to have met a delightfully unpredictable and handsome woman who – for reasons I can’t put in precise words – agreed to spend the rest of her life with me to raise extensions of both our families. We have been blessed with a boy and a girl – 13 and 5.My wife and I have often discussed our children and what each of us expects of them. We have devised a plan – our own parenting guideline – that is composed of only these three things: that we love our children within our means; that either one of us should be with, listen to, and talk to our children each day of the year for as long as each is physically living with us; and that we would not obey our children, but rather respect them. And these have worked for us; and our children are happy!I think one of the prevailing reasons children become delinquents or derelicts is due to very obeying parents – good-natured people who decide to obey their children. They allow their children to dictate parenting guidelines and to add unto the parents’ “should not and should do list” (e.g. keeping up with the latest fashion, transport, music, food, and even night-life trends.) In addition, the children are often left to decide things on their own and parents go along for the ride – many times to very unpleasant destinations.I do know that the make up of families are unique and things that apply in one family can’t be applied in another. However, I strongly believe that our children would be better off if they are obedient to their parents; and you and I must convince our neighbors, as Jesse Jackson puts it: “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” What do you think?
