THIS next letter (names have been changed) is the last letter from Manny to Kayla, when Jesse was already 5 years old, 4 years after Kayla’s first letter, after numerous letters he had written her. It is a continuation from her letter to Manny, but he is explaining his attempts to resolve their problem amicably, keeping in mind that the welfare of Jesse should be the primary consideration.
Kayla,
I would like to make another attempt to resolve your differences with Margaret and me. Frank has already been informed of this letter and these attempts and he does not wish to take part in this. We have given you and your family what you wanted, which was to stop taking Jesse for out visits. We did this not because of the threats, denials, and harassment you all have been giving my family and me, but because of our concern for Jesse’s welfare. My main concern is that little boy Jesse, the same little boy that you say is Our son.
Unfortunately, Jesse is being made to pay the price for what has happened. There is no harm in a father wanting his child to live a normal life, even if it means terminating his parental rights by giving him up for adoption just so his son could have a little peace. You may say, this (adoption) is what I should have done since the very beginning. But let me remind you, the day you brought me to court in 1996 for child support is the same day you personally “opened the door to visitations rights” in front of me and said, “okay, here are your parental rights. It’s up to you if you take them or not.”
You would always tell me about “the relationship that Jesse and I have and that you want him to know and love his father.” How can he be MY son if you all teach him that I’m not is father and you hide him from my family and I, no matter where we are? The life you all are putting Jesse through is not normal, emotionally. He may not know everything because he is still young but eventually, when he finds out the truth, all this will affect him physically and maybe mentally one day, which I pray will never happen to him.
Again, I am asking for your cooperation in settling this conflict. I have asked my attorney to allow me to use the conference room in his law firm as neutral grounds for this meeting. If you would like a mediator present throughout our discussion, please let me know. If you would like to meet at another place, please suggest one. But keep in mind, it has to be a place where I agree to meet also. As to what specific date and time, I give you the decision to make. Please give this serious thought and consideration.
As I have said before, Jesse is not getting any younger. He learns more and more everyday and will eventually find out the truth behind all this one day when he is older. He will grow up feeling embarrassed because his mother despises his father if this bickering, selfishness, and immaturity continues. All this and more will scar him for life, whether he likes it or not, and he has to live with it. Or, we can help him overcome his bitter emotions if we talk about all that is going on and try to come up with some amicable resolution that will benefit Jesse, including adoption. What’s going on now is not normal or beneficial to Jesse, or one of those “everyday things.” Please feel free to contact me peacefully at home for your response or you could calmly contact my attorney’s office and leave a message for him and he will give the message to me. Please do not pass up this opportunity. Thank you for your understanding.
Manny
Is he wrong for trying to be a father to Jesse? Trying to give him a normal life, even if it means terminating his parental rights by giving Jesse up for adoption so Jesse could have a little peace? Trying to resolve their differences and settling this conflict? Parents are their child’s first teachers. Love, relationship, bond of both parents are worth more than money. Money makes love turn into grief and what is money for if everything is gone? He deserves more mature parents and guardians who have his best interest at heart.
Kayla could have feelings of betrayal, and abandonment, since Manny was off-island, unaware that she was pregnant and gave birth and cared for an infant. Since a child is like both parents in various ways, the child can begin to think that he is faulty, when he is acting like one or the other. A child can think “if Daddy is bad and I’m like Daddy, maybe I’m bad.” A child may think that it is his fault that his mother fights with his father, because she only fights with his father and only about him (the child). Kayla indicated that she is fairly happy with the last court order granting Manny visitation rights. I asked Jesse if he likes coming to dad’s home and he responded by saying “yes!” Jesse is very active, he was constantly playing with his aunt and Margaret. It appears that there is bonding. Jesse would often jump over on the coach and cuddle with Margaret and his grandmother. My observation of the child-parent relationship is very positive. It appears that Jesse is bonded and clearly can identify his parents, Kayla and Manny. I think that a father and son relationship is well established and more quality time must be spent together.REBECCA WHITE-CEPEDA
Dandan, Saipan
