THE most useless thing in the world is a ten-foot pole. There is nothing we would touch with one.
If opposites attract, it would stand to reason that similar things repel, but they don’t.
If a person says, “I am going to be honest,” how should I take everything else they have said?
They say there is more than one way to skin a cat, but I have always had cats and I can tell you, there is no way to skin a cat, not even one.
If something goes without saying, why do we proceed to say it anyway?
I looked up “dictionary” in the dictionary. It said, “this.”
Since we know what the speed of light is, I wonder if we will ever know the speed of dark.
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
I have never seen cat food that comes in mouse or bird flavor. I think cats would like it.
The word “phonetic” is not spelled the way it sounds.
Why do people wait until ten minutes into a story to say: “To make a long story short…”?
Why can’t people smell their own body odor and bad breath? Wouldn’t life be better if we could?
It seems weird if someone dies in a fire, then their body is cremated.
I have heard of many people being disgruntled but never heard of someone being gruntled.
Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. Can’t we do better than that?
The English language has no word for fiancée. If it did, why are we still using fiancée?
I was scared half to death on two occasions, so why am I still alive? And how do we measure such a thing?
When I stayed out in the sun too long, my hair got lighter and my skin got darker.
The phrase “It is what it is” is one of the most useless things to say, yet people keep saying it, and pretend they are being wise.
You can’t sneeze with your eyes open, and my wife cannot put on mascara with her mouth closed.
I have heard dogs barking all night long. They never lose their voice.
I went into a store that said they were open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. There were locks on the doors.
Many things seem out of whack, but nothing ever seems in whack.
Instead of putting flotation devices under airplane seats, shouldn’t they put parachutes there?
Did the person who coined the phrase “one-hit wonder” come up with any others?
I think a better name for dentures would be substitooths.
Someone should build an airplane made completely of the material the Black Box is made of.
Buttered bread always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, so I buttered up a cat and dropped him to see what would happen.
BC Cook, PhD lived on Saipan and has taught history for 20 years. He currently resides on the mainland U.S.
BC Cook
